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Prostate Cancer: Pulling the Finger Out

June 18, 2017
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I felt very well. Went to the young locum
Slight waterworks problem, nothing much more
It trickled much longer, urged more often
The locum child thought it was something more
More than the march of time and failing body parts
Made me lie down with pants at my knees
Inserted a finger where nobody ever did.
Well, nearly no-one… and… hardly ever.
The youngster wiggled his finger around up there
Pondered a moment and offered his thoughts
I must make an appointment to come for a blood test.

The nurse took my blood for that PSA test.
I returned for the answer, my regular doctor
Who made me lie down with my pants at my knees
And inserted a finger where not many ever did
Pondered a moment and offered his thoughts.
I must be referred to a hospital doctor.

The hospital doctor was fairly sanguine
He made me lie down with pants at my knees
And inserted a finger where only a handful did
Pondered a moment and offered his thoughts
I must come for a biopsy and for a bone scan.

The biopsy doctor made me lie down
Said that I, mostlike, would not feel a thing
And inserted a probe where no probe had yet been
And it snatched off some tissue a dozen times painful
From lower intestine and right side of prostate,
Repeated the agony pains on the left side.
I wiped, from the bedrail, my teeth marks and fingerprints
And after a fortnight my bowels recovered.

Bone scan more comfortable. “You’ll just feel a little prick.”
In the hospital gown I said yes I do, certainly.
Then a minuscule, radioactive injection.
I lay on the noise machine, plugs in my ears.
Over in minutes, radioactive a day or two.
Back to the specialist. Here is the bad news…

Next, to the surgeon, who made me lie down
And inserted a finger where everyone does
The cancer’s contained, he said
He would extract it, remove it completely
Along with the prostate and some of the nerves
That have helped with erections and night-time emissions.

The pre-op was quite as I came to expect it
The surgeon arrived and made me lie down
And inserted a finger where those who’d bought tickets
Could view his great skill, though there was no applause
And soon I was wheeled to the land where time vanishes
Woke in a ward and was tended to carefully.
The op was successful, I have no more cancer
And people can insert their fingers no more.